I’m going to call the marketing department at Diageo to suggest that they trademark this wonderful dram as the Whisky for Socially Distant Drinkers.™ It’s right there in the name: Singleton! But when you think about it, you wouldn’t be alone drinking this in an empty house. You have, first, the Sherry fog rolling through Cupcake Commons in Candyland and hugging the edges of Lollipop Woods. Then twigs from a basil plant making a nest for Jordan almonds. More than anything else, though, we get the essence of sultana, or sultana extract. No! It’s Zoe Sultana in full Avatar makeup!
The mouth is buttery, fruity, and mahogany-ey. [Bill: “Not a word.”] In short, it’s loaded with flavor like a bursting burlap sack of … [Stephen: “Flavor?”] Yes! A sack of flavor, one that is just… [Stephen: bursting?] You get that too! Awesome! I’m thinking of the children’s game that B. F. Skinner designed: Hungry Hungry Hippocampus. All of my autonomic systems are just nom-noming the flavors in a spastic, pleonectic reflex.
The finish is long, slippery, and slidey. It’s a Chutes and Ladders game with the special Cornucopia and Ambrosia Expansion Packs. Something new arises at the end—a sour cherry pop that coats the tongue like a miracle elixir. I feel surrounded in the quiet of a still house, like a weighted blanket pulled up to my chin, or under a leaded dental apron after X-rays show I’m cavity-free.
On the scale of relationship attainments that are perfect for today’s circumstances–
The Singleton of Glen Ord is “self-partnered.”–Popularlized by Emma Watson, who eschews the pejorative sense of the term “single,” the concept denotes a sense of completeness or fulfillment, rather than lack. Which is precisely what the Singleton of Glen Ord provides! Maybe we call it the Self-Partneredton of Glen Ord? Get me Diageo on line one!
–Our thanks to Diageo for the sample!