The Chieftain’s Glenrothes 15 Year 1997

Tasting notes: 
     Opening with pared lemon wedges sautéed in lemon oil and limoncello, sprinkled with lemon zest. Lemon soufflé crème brûlée. Lemon seltzer water washed penuche fudge. Rich, buttery, eggy, lemony, elegant. Silk underthings off the rack from Jean Yu’s New York atelier. Fermented alpine spring water. Yes, dammit, fermented alpine spring water. Tarragon. The hands of Dolly Parton’s manicurist.
     The nose segues neatly into the mouth, like the philtrum on Botticelli’s Venus. It’s a lemon fiesta! ¡Yo soy lemon fiesta! Oily, ester-y, Esterhazy, estrous lemons, Insane Lemon Posse. After reflecting and refracting the refrangible elements, I get special lemons bred  for centuries by Spanish Cistercian monks that were crossed with platinum barbed wire made especially for Nicole Kidman by Harry Winston jewelers. {Were the lemons crossed with the platinum barbed wire or were the monks crossed with it? Neither the grammatical structure of the review nor the reviewer can answer that question with certainty.}
     The finish is languorous, yet avoids the longueurs in lieu of the louche Nuke LaLoosh: There’s fire on that heater, low and outside the box, still striking the anvil. Burnt mahogany pencil shavings, touch of Cinnabon™ muffin. Fade to yellow.

  Rating: