The Simply Whisky “Dream Big” (4 Year Old Balcones Straight Corn Whiskey)
700 ml of 65.7% abv firepower
From the start, this 65.7% abv whiskey noses like something that a corner man keeps in his bag when the fight reaches the late rounds. Which is to say, it’s piercing. Think of it like the Lemon Tart iteration of the Tough Mudder series for your sinuses that, once delaminated, begin to register distinct sensations. The initial evocation is a memory of the model glue binding airplane fuselage to ape fingers; yes, it’s King Kong athwart the Empire State Building clutching a Curtiss F8C-5/O2C-1 Helldiver that got too close. Then that initial intensity blows off and gives way to a later memory of corn balls given out at Halloween at the crafty mother’s home long before razor blade scares and Tylenol bottle adulteration changed things. Soon enough, the vivification settles into a Bach Toccata and Fugue in D-minor, which is the saddest of all keys. Perfume-atomized fruit candies, line-dried linen sheets, and riptide currents round things out wonderfully.
With a sip, I see now that it’s a corn current that draws me farther from shore. Black cherry and swamp orchids are there too, but it’s corn that pulls them together and stretches out like Möbius band of corn taffy extended to the point of translucence. Imagine a bit of corn-silk bitterness dipped in buttercup softness, and then clipped in as if in preparation for bungee jump. I leap into ripe persimmon. Sweet, tannic and drying–my tastebuds are asking for a personal day. A few merciful drops of water adds delightful mouthfeel, as if my tongue were a latte emulsifier.
Did I say emulsifier? Well, on the finish it’s clear that it’s a nitrous-powered NDE scored by an EDM artist. [Stephen: What?] [Bill: “Near-death experience” and “electronic dance music,” but I’m not sure what he’s after]. Guys! It’s the thrummy-throbbing thaumaturgical threat! You get that, right? Actually, it’s the ebbing that I’m after: the calm after the storm. You sense it too: the still-vibrating bass cabinet, the windows rattling in the casements, and the summer air as a thunderclaps approach. We’re going to be safe. We’re going to live.
On the scale of 1970 ensemble disaster films–
The Simply Whisky “Dream Big” 4 Year Old Balcones Straight Corn Whiskey is Towering Inferno–With stars like Paul Newman, Steve McQueen, and Faye Dunaway, and the threat of fiery doom, this is a whiskey that sustains suspense and rewards moxie.
–Our thanks to Simply Whisky for the sample!
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