The nose opens with daisy petals drizzled with bootstrap molasses. (Yes, John, I know it’s blackstrap molasses. Humor, man, humor.) There were also mangoes and buttercups processed together in a Cuisinart sporting repurposed kitana blades being used to create a new kind of menthol. You see, the mangoes were grown in soil fertilized with eucalyptus leaves and the flowers were fertilized with bees imported from Australia. It was grassy, flaxy, sassy, waxy sassafras huffed sitting in purple heartwood pews during mass. Burnt marshmallows were made with sugars slyly extracted from grade B maple syrup.
The mouthfeel was leavened with a heavy, rich, creamy texture. A cynic would call it cloying, but I call it Walter Glorpius Maximus. We have reason to believe that single source chocolate has a meaningful, desirable, enriching effect on the complete experience. There were miniature parachutes made out of oak planed thin enough to float a small squad of elite mountain corps pewter soldiers. We found wedding cake made by German bakers who specialized in re-conceptualizing traditional Oktoberfest delights for non-traditional Green Party commitment ceremonies. There is much richness, it’s as hard to pick out individual flavors as it would be to find a particular pine needle in the Ozark mountains. Cue up “Dueling Banjos“, the theme from Deliverance. The overall effect, though, was that of sinking slowly, pleasurably, into a warm beach which, instead of sand, was comprised of confectioners’ sugar, and instead of the ocean, it was waves of grade A maple syrup lapping gently up against it.
It finishes with an all-consuming controlled conflagration, all-mouth and palate; an everything-must-go blowout sale, don’t get caught with your drawers down, I went for broke and went broke in Monte Carlo at all-in, all-out, Texas hold ’em throw-down played with Oklahoma oilmen and Montana cattle barons. Charcoal made from hickory trees was used to slow smoke Cornish game hens. You think, profoundly, that Tom Waits for Snowman, and try to convince the companions of your dreams, your dream companions, that that is a singularly profound thought.
On the scale of Beatles songs–
The Berry Bros. & Rudd Bunnahabhain 24 Year Old 1989 is Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds–Picture yourself in a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies. No, really, picture yourself in a boat on a river. I don’t believe that while you’re reading this, you can picture it. Close your eyes. Turn off the computer. Put on some relaxing music. Fall apart in my back yard. Pour a glass of this Bunnahabhain 24 year old. Let yourself be taken away.