The Diageo Special Release Cardhu 14 nose opens with a fruit phantasmagoria, a cake run riot, a Great British Baking Show special where Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood* have co-concocted a coconut/cocoa nut confection, a Boccone Dolce Extravaganza! Beyond all this, we found bright witch hazel, some papaya, and—wait for it—more fruit!
*It’s hard to believe “Mary Berry” and “Paul Hollywood” aren’t stage names, but they indeed are their birth names! If only my parents had named me “Walt Malt Impostor Foster.” What a missed opportunity!
The mouth is strong, but nimble, like a gymnast startling other athletes by how fast she can sprint a dash. Or dash a sprint? There’s a sense of purposefulness, too, a resolve like a high jumper striding confidently toward the bar right before breaking into a run. This is not your father’s, mother’s, sister’s, or brother’s Cardhu! It’s got piquant kumquat, spicy rice-y-bright-white peppercorns, a nice spice cake-bake served at tea at three with appropriately topical tropical dumb gum drops and a dour sour dream cream that keeps the cake moist, dense, and glistening with unnecessary but oh-so-delicious extra lipids. There’s essential oil of spearmint at the back of the mouth, before the start of the finish, say, right around the uvula, and, if they haven’t been removed, the tonsils.
On the finish, we found bamboo notes—more specifically, a haunting Zen melody played on a Shakuhachi. John, as is his wont, found masticated orangutan cud, because of course he did.
[Stephen: Bill! That was my note, based on the Oslo zoo’s Australian simian, Boomerang the Orangutan!]
Uh, my apologies to both of you? I found equilibrium and poise, despite the breadth and strength of the conception of this reconfigured, re-innovated, and reinvigorated Cardhu. We also got a long low-level burn like LeBron James subtweeting a former teammate. *cough, cough* Kyrie Irving.
On the scale of power moves requiring speed, grace, poise, strength, and perfect balance–
The Cardhu 14 Year Old 2019 Special Release is The Block–King LeBron James cleanly swatting away a tied-game, championship series, final game, final two minutes, easy lay-up attempt by Andre Iguodala, fundamentally bringing home the first NBA championship ever to Cleveland, Ohio. Okay, let’s be real a second: The Cardhu is good, but it’s not quite life-altering like The Block. But it is strong, poised, and excellent!
–Our thanks to Diageo for the sample!