The Ha’Penny Original Irish Whiskey’s nose evokes the alcohol of my youth: carbolic acid on skinned knees and trips to my uncle’s liquor cabinet. Oh, and gin, too. Juniper berries, saran wrap around olives and watermelon rind, and Lego™ dinosaurs. Theeeese are a feeew of myyy favorite things! But wait, like a good Ronco™ product, there’s more than meets the nose: We also found pepper corns covered by anise-candies, the latter of the sort in brass dishes by the cash registers in Indian restaurants. What’s ha’penning here, anyways????
The mouth is thin, reedy, runny, and light-limbed like Macrotolagus Lepus alleni, i.e., an antelope jackrabbit. There’s morning dew that’s condensed on prisms, thus casting oddly distorted Pride Rainbows on the patio furniture. We found more anise, and a bit of a bite that bit back upon being bitten. In Ireland, you don’t drink the Ha’Penny, the Ha’Penny drinks you.
The finish is as quick as the legendary, but not mythic, green flash of sunset, and as quick as a mythic, but not legendary, leprechaun skirt-skirting his way home. We found also fresh laundry, air-dried, wrapped around a highball tumbler filled with mixers, just begging to be de-virgin cocktailized by the Ha’Penny (if you don’t have a Penny).
On the scale of April Fool’s Day pranks that come on April 15th–
The Ha’Penny Original Irish Whiskey, abv 43%, is sending your taxes to the IRS in the form of a barrel o’ ha’pennies–Hey, they’re legal tender; who cares that it’s in England? Let the government take the barrel o’ ha’pennies to the airport Cambio! That’s worth a Ha’Penny for your thoughts, isn’t it?
–Our thanks to Pearse Lyons and Engelstad Spirits for the sample!