The Highland Park Magnus

50 ml speed chess accelerator mini

Tasting notes:
Armadillos of sherry notes dot the musical score of pecadillos of lemon floor wax. [John: Bill, have you been drinking again? Or something stronger?]  There’s also dabbed rests (in the musical sense) of butterscotch melted onto beetle backs, which had been previously inscribed with Nordic runes. It’s a beetle race crashing into a picnic in an octopus’s garden in an unexplored, off the board, secret section of the game Candy Land™.

The mouth is rich, yet light, and it’s lingering, yet fast, and it’s performing a few slopestyle snowboard Bloody Dracula moves. Okay, maybe not that much kineticism, but it’s suggesting that if you were to take it to the 2020 Olympics, it just might, with lots of training and practice, do as well as Elizabeth Swaney’s blithe bunny hill run down the halfpipe.  Which is to say, yes, you made the Olympics! You’ll have memories and stories to last a lifetime, and as an extra bonus, you’ll get a sandalwood diorama, scented with eau de caramel, of the Olympic Village.

The finish is light and quick, as agile as Steph Curry, as sweaty as LeBron James, and as fearless as Russell Westbrook. It’s come and gone like Prosecco bubbles pop-pop-popping above the rim of your champagne glass. There are also fear-crazed toasted hazelnuts hiding out from the corrupt cops and greasy informers of the feared Italian Nutella™ Syndicate.
On the scale of speed chess world champions—this one’s a slam dunk, folks—
The Highland Park Magnus is, naturally, Magnus Carlsen. He’s the world champion at speed chess, he’s second in the world at blitz chess, and he’s the world champion at…slow?…chess. And, in a hat-tip to Stephen, he’s Norwegian. Well played, Highland Park!
–Our thanks to Highland Park for the sample!

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