[Morgan Street Company sent us these samples for our honest review. Sam, the company’s Chief Bourbon Gulper, informs us that the company launched their Kickstarter campaign today. You can find a link to it at their website, morganstreet.co]
Let no one accuse us of lacking stones. Not only do we have stones, we like to review them. After turning my head and coughing, it was time to get down to business.
We had hoped to get the skull shaped stones, which they call “The Veteran,” but their popularity meant that none were available. Instead were sent the conventional stones, which they call “The Soldier” and come, apparently, in sets of three. Or perhaps we were given three because of our triune nature. These lovely soapstone specimens looked like others that we’ve tried in the past. They have a pleasing feel on the hand with just enough slipperiness to thwart my effort to lodge them in my nostrils to amuse children.
The big question with all of the stones, however, is how well they work. So I decided to use my father’s day gift to give it a whirl. Now, you might be thinking: “how nice! He got a bottle of whisky for father’s day!” But you’d be mistaken. I got a battery-powered meat fork with a digital readout of the temperature. It was time to put these stones to the test!
So I tested the temperature of my bourbon, the Blanton’s Single Barrel, and recorded it on a sheet of paper: 72.1 degrees. I then added three soapstone “soldiers” (which had bivouacked in my freezer for 24 hours) and ordered them to cool my drink. And they obeyed: the temp dropped and after a minute it settled out at 64.9, and it held that temp for quite a while.
But that’s not what my sheet of paper read. No sir. It read 18.3 degrees. That’s what I wrote right underneath the 72.1. The jagged lines of my script bore witness to the terrible thoughts in my head. For I thought to myself, “my god, these Morgan Street sorcerers are channeling the dark arts straight into my tumbler!” How could these little stones drop the temperature 50 degrees in just a minute? Was it Satan’s own army to which they pledged fealty? I began to see the smirking face of the skull-shaped Veteran stone in my glass even though I knew I had the smooth-sided cubes in there. Naturally the rest of my notes contain fragments of prayers smudged by my tears. That is, until my son came up and switched the meat fork from Celsius back to Fahrenheit. Ahem.
All of this is to say that three soldiers dropped my drink down about 7 degrees Fahrenheit, and it kept it down there a while until I saw it begin to rise up to 66.6 degrees. Given my jangled nerves, I drank the rest of my glass down in a single glorp and threw the meat fork into the woods.
The good people at the Morgan Street Company are gearing up for a Kickstarter campaign to sell these stones. Should you get in on it? After all, there are similar products out there. However, the skull-shaped stones are unique. And I’m also quite taken by the “Artillery” stone, a 3 oz. hockey-puck shaped bad boy that might hold the cold longer because it has less surface area. (Bonus: I am not tempted to shove it into my nostrils.) In short, though Morgan Street is not the first to bring this product to market, they have some clever shapes and admirable thematic unity. Look, I’ll never get back the $150 I sank into Little Eatz (the vegan snack cookies designed for humans and dogs to enjoy together), but I have a feeling this campaign is a much better decision.