The Duncan Taylor Smokin’ Blended Scotch Whisky almost begs to be called the Duncan Taylor Smokin’ Blended Scootch Whisky, because it’s just a scootch over 80 proof. You wouldn’t know that, though, when you nosed it. It’s, ah, uh, er, smoky–like the pelt of Smokey the Bear used in a community theatre play performed by the murderers of Joe Camel, Twinkie the Kid, and Ronald McDonald. We also got cinnamon syrup in a tin/lead gas can that had held acetone. When you look for it as assiduously as researchers went after the Higgs Boson, you’ll also find delicate little space-time fabric ripples of the icing on the lemon melts available for purchase on the ferry to Islay. (They give new meaning to the concept of steam-punk lemons.)
The mouth is fast and light. But smoky! (Who could’ve seen that one coming?) It’s thin, which is the 80 proof talkin’ at ya. It’d be a great base for an orally-administered dose of penicillin. I think that my Finnish aunt would have loved to “water” her nasturtiums with this for the delicate wisps of scootch they’d evoke. If Zamfir, the Master of the Pan Flute, became a Master Blender and distributed samples of his decoctions in tiny bamboo tubes twined together by thin strings of dried mango skin, then I’d follow him from street corner to street corner.
The finish is fast enough that you’d blink and not notice that you were done with your drink. I’m not sure I’d ever say that a smoky scotch could be guzzled, but if I were to say so, I’d start with this one! There’s something there that lingers almost below the consciousness, like the barely remembered musings within a dream induced by an overdose of Sudafed™; an anionic anunctuous animatronic aunt ‘n’ uncle visiting for the robot holidays who left nothing but their imprints on the couch and oily scuff marks on the kitchen wainscoting.
On the scale of iconic 70s songs with the word Smokin’ in the title–
The Duncan Taylor Smokin’ Blended Scotch Whisky is…wait, do I really have to choose between Boston’s classic “Smokin'” and Brownsville Station’s classic “Smokin’ in the Boy’s Room”? Can I veer instead to Deep Purple’s “Smoke on the Water” or even Cheech and Chong’s “Up in Smoke”? What’s that? Bylaw 17b, section 9.2 says I must? Fine: it’s Boston’s Smokin’ and despite my lack of certitude, I will sleep contentedly tonight.