The smokiest mouthwash ever released by Ralph Lauren, splashed on Mo Farah, Lolo Jones, and a cast of dozens, while they cavort around, dancing the dance of Olympic fame in a sequoia grove, getting sappy (but not sentimental). Glacial ice in Greenland melting due to global warming. “Turpentiny” you say? TurpenLARGEY I reply!
The mouth is a candy store that is miraculously standing amidst a burnt-down shopping mall. Even the sample table out front has survived unbesmirched, holding rows of bon bons, vanilla-iced eclairs with light rum creme filling, lollipops dusted with powdered sugar and the lost aspirations of lawyers who ended up working as llama herders in Arizona. Don’t neglect that burnt hazelnut Derby pie filling in monkey tear crust.
Finishing by swallowing a silver necklace (not sterling, but alloyed with iridium) with three copper ring charms. The sensation of swallowing refuses to obey the normal anatomical laws and instead see-saws to the tip of the tongue, converging to Portland, Oregon artisanal apple cider. Prune juice made by sapient lambs for Hollywood key grips.
On the scale of things that are burned, but survive, profoundly–
The Golden Cask Caol Ila 12 Year Old is the branding of a tiger and a dragon onto the forearms of novices becoming Shaolin priests–Hey, it was the beginning of the old television show Kung Fu, and TV wouldn’t ever lie to me! Would you, TV? I know I can trust you.