The Glenmorangie Port Wood Finish

Tasting notes:
Opening this old mini is like opening a pirate’s chest and finding that it contains instructions for a scavenger hunt.

The first note (titled, “Nose”) directs you to the writing desk of Mark Twain in his Connecticut home. There you find candle wax dripped on the bias atop a Twinkie (no, it hasn’t decomposed at all). But since Twinkies didn’t exist in Twain’s time, someone else must have been–or must be–in on keeping this scavenger hunt viable. So curious. But then you flip over the note and find that it points you to something ridiculously round and full: a Vietnamese pot belly pig that had overindulgent owners feed it nothing but cherries and tobacco leaves and kale. You follow the directions, but not finding the pig, you re-read the directions and see that it actually says fig. Can you overindulge a fig? This quest is already yielding enigmas that may stay with you as long as its ultimate prize.

The second note (titled, “Mouth”) leads you to a feast on the private beach of a swanky resort, the bounty and quality of which leave you momentarily dumbstruck. The hostess welcomes you in, and she’s so beautiful and so charming you tolerate her bumptiousness. Richness surrounds you, and you dine on roast pork with roasted plums, raisins, and voluptuous, soft, red wine. And of course you overeat.

Finally, the last note (guess the title) brings you full circle to the treasure chest, to lift the crushed red velvet false bottom out of it. A drying but spicy sweet waft emanates from the hidden chamber and recalls the wealth of flavors that came before. Your instincts tell you to look for the word “univocal” at the bottom of the chest, but it’s not there. You dig further and instead, there you find a soft roll of paper crafted from cherry blossoms. You slowly unfurl it, and written in a fading stain of plum wine are the words “perfectly rounded.”

 

Rating:
On the scale of cool scavenger hunt stories–
The Glenmorangie Port Wood Finish (NAS) is Forrest Fenn’s still undiscovered treasure–Beating cancer is a great way to start any story, but the best thing about this story is that if you are diligent and smart, you might just be able to get your hands on this one yourself.
 
 
 
                                                                      –Stephen