We here at The Malt Impostor are very pleased to introduce The Balvenie Whisky Feed. Readers, Balvenie Whisky Feed; Whisky Feed, Readers. You may or may not appreciate it now, but this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Available for download for free on IOS and Android devices, The Balvenie Whisky Feed features a newsfeed of the latest whisky articles from, and we here quote the press release, “the best whisky bloggers in the world.” And yes, that includes The Malt Impostor. Damn straight it does.
The Feed, as we’ve come to call it in the MaltCave, also offers a detailed list of whiskies for users to explore, rate, and review. “The Whisky Shelf” tab features an ever-growing list of whiskies for users to explore. Each whisky included features an image of the bottle, along with tasting notes and rating from other users. Since we are committed to the idea that tasting notes are, well, a matter of taste, we mostly read through the user tasting notes to find spelling and grammatical errors. Good clean fun for the entire family there. Actually, if you rate or review a whisky through the app, it will automatically be saved into the “My Rated” tab, so that you can go back later to remind yourself of what you thought in the past (if you don’t think such a thing is necessary, just wait a year or two, and you’ll come around) or to see how wrong you were before. You can also save a favorite whisky under the “My Wishlist” tab for future reference, a feature that comes in particularly handy at whisky festivals and tasting events. Now if we could just get Bill to stop trying to add Scarlett Johansson to his “My Wishlist.”
But the best part is this: once you download the app, then you can find this post on the app, which, if our calculations are correct, will open up a recursive energy loop, an infinite regress, a dream within a dream, an eternal return, a perpetual motion machine that can, with just a little harnessing, provide renewable power for the entire planet–and part of another one. Of course, the harnessing requires cooperation between warring factions in the Middle East, but we’ll let other folks attend to those small-scale practical problems. We’re idea men, and we’re on to something amazing here. Fire up your smartphones, people and help us save the Earth now!