The Sazerac Rye Straight Rye Whiskey

Tasting notes:
The Sazerac Rye Straight Rye Whiskey nose opens with a beautiful floral explosion, like the flowers filling Westminster Abbey at the death of the universally-beloved Queen Mum. (I wrote “universally,” but I suppose I should check with Richard Paterson first.) Dahlias, Gardenias, a tinge of Narcissus, Pink Roses, and Grandma’s Axe Body Wash for Grandmas®. It’s a candied nose, soft and inviting.
     The mouth is a smooth segue from the nose, a continuum on the flower spectrum, Roy G. Biv-whacking a mole or two. There’s clover, too, and it seems like a drink to pour for a woman uncertain whether she likes whiskey at all, let alone straight whiskey. We recommend pouring it directly down her décolletage, but will not be held responsible for consequences or side effects. We also recommend filling a Gatorade bucket with it, and dumping it on the nose tackle of the losing team of a Superbowl, but again, eschew any liability for reactions following these actions.
     The finish is light and quick, like a French escape out a French window into a formal garden, cooly climbing the ha-ha fence in the trench, antecedent to disappearing into the woods, possibly forever. It reminded Stephen of licking a cat’s fur in the wrong direction, and not getting whacked (by a cat’s paw? a jealous gangster? a roving flounder?). I can’t say as I saw that, but our blog contains multitudes. There’s a positive tingling, like being slapped by a woman before convivial relations [Stephen: I think you mean “connubial,” Bill.] How would you know, Stephen? It reminded John of good vibrations from a battery-operated hand-held device suddenly turning on in your satchel during a TSA screening; presumably everything would have been smoother if you’d simply turned the alarm clock off before departing for the airport. For me, it was like French kissing Bianca Jagger (circa 1977) after snorkeling Coca Cola in Studio 54. So to speak.

Rating:

(Oh, I have to write a longer rating? Fine.)

“Duh,” explained: Mardi Gras, the Saints, beads, the blues, jazz, and public nudity.

     
     
    
–Our thanks to Jobie Smith and Sazerac for the sample!