The Glenrothes Burns Malt 25 Year 1988 TWB* Exclusive (30 ml karmically balanced mini)

Tasting notes:
The nose on this dram presents with notes of apples baked in sugar and cinnamon and then shoved in your face, overripe bananas begging to be made into bread, and sour grapes the other guy has.  There’s also a clear note of karmically balanced banana peel:  Imagine your ex-wife slips on it and fractures her coccyx.  Imagine you laugh, and not just because the word “coccyx” is funny.  And you get away with it because you’d already paid plenty.  On the nose, this dram is so bright, it’s nearly iridescent.  On the mouth, it’s green rye and Fleischman’s Margarine, followed by the breath of a lemur that’s been chewing on anise.  Give it more time on the palate, and it develops into honey barbecued pork loin medallions over wild rice that just can’t be tamed.  The back end of the mouth brings a funky note: rosemary and brass polish (to be clear: the polish here is for the brass, not the rosemary), silver buttons on the vest of a Bratz doll.  After a little while, the nose opens up to sour oranges and something herby.  That something is a Volkswagen Beetle woven together from strands of aromatic spices and given supernatural powers:  it’s Herby the Love Bug!  On the finish, the herbaceous character comes through again: imagine lovely perfume and lingering sweetness lovingly worked into the back of your tongue with a white sage smudge stick so as to cleanse and repel evil influences, like the unfortunate presence of lesser whiskies.