The Westport Burns Malt, 15 year old, distilled in 1997 noses like a Himalayan Blue Pine-needle bird’s nest in birch forest. The nest was woven and washed with lemon soap by an anil-retentive bluebird, who added sprigs of thyme, vanilla bean shavings, lilac petals, potpourri sachets lifted from a grandmother’s cedar dresser, and the mango juice sloshed on the playground by an angry seven year old WHO WASN’T THIRSTY, MOM! On a spiritual level, the nose is Drano™ for the soul; no nasty chlorine or lye odor: but all clogs are magically made to vanish, leaving you a pristine annulus that aromas and blessings pour through, sands tumbling down the hourglass’ neck concurrent with geysers spurting up. The highest quality bath soap (as seen in Fight Club), made from 103% Shea butter, a soap so exclusive that only Gwyneth Paltrow and you, dear reader, know about it. Glorious and ineffable.
On the mouth, raisiny, resiny, and Mortlach-y. (Which is, to us, exceedingly high praise.) You gotta ask yourself, kid, “Do you feel Mortlachy?” Near-glorps yield cinnamon stick dissolved into Applejack—the hard cider, not the cereal. Fluffy mouthfeel: sorta baby goslings nestling on a satin-clad goose down pillow. Or Ryan Gosling in a satin bathrobe nestling with Robert Downey, Jr. at Downton Abbey. Leaves of Lamb’s-ear (Stachys byzantina) thrown at the Owl and the Pussywillow, artfully woven into the bird’s nest. (Boom! You didn’t think the bluebird was coming back, did you?) The finish is long and strong, gentling down like a foal being curried with a brush. A lamb being curried by a tandoor oven.
The Westport Burns Malt 15 Year 1997 is Montgomery Burns–He plays jai alai, is a philanthropist, energizes Springfield, and has pure motivations. Purely evil, purely greed, perhaps; but purity is a rare and beautiful thing, worthy of being cherished and exalted. Right, Smithers?
Our thanks to Alastair and the good people at The Whisky Barrel for the sample!
*–The Whisky Barrel (Westport Burns Malt 15 Year 1997 TheWhiskyBarrel.com Exclusive)
You can also find The Whisky Barrel’s Facebook page here and their Twitter feed here.