The Single Cask Nation Glen Moray 12

Tasting notes: 
     The Single Cask Nation Glen Moray 12 yo opens like sitting in a Mission-style chair in Santa Fe next to an artisanal candle flecked with sherry-immersed shavings of walnut driftwood. 
     [John: Just saying, Bill, that it’s from a first fill bourbon cask. Just saying.]
     F%@# you, John.  Medium-ripe cantaloupes transported on a recently groomed Eurasian antelope. Cigarette ash sprinkled on fresh-cut grass. A teenager’s room after Ozium™ has been liberally squirted, chemically erasing the smoking gun evidence of her fresh-smoked grass. Mouldering maple leaves on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. 
     On the mouth, it pours in sweet, syrupy, rich, and refined like a Ritz Carlton lemon slice in English Breakfast tea served (shockingly!) by your valet, as your butler was shirking his duties, lolling in the wine cellar, pretending to fiddle with the temperature control and dusting the bottles, but really simply admiring his extensive pulled-cork collection. (You guys both got that, too, right?) [Stephen: For a second there, I thought that was “pulled-pork collection,” which is all kinds of wrong here.  But “pulled-cork”…yeah, I did get that, too.]  Drinking sour cherry concentrate that’s been mellowing in a Naughty Monkey™ Hurricane boot. In other words, it’s more than slightly tart, much like the eye-catching owner of the boot (that you lifted from outside her hotel suite—you sick bastard). After the boot, Lindt’s raspberry filled bar: Not as…meaningful, but equally savory.
     The finish looms like an eggless, embittered Easter Bunny; it lingers with a tingle like Kris Kringle mingled with shingles in Dingle.
     Water vitiates the Glen Moray without enervating it, and triggers an oleophobic reaction: the water seems almost terrified of mixing with the whisky. It’s both waxier and more honied without being beeswaxier. Taro, cassava, breadfruit, and plantains cradled in a Panama hat or straw boater. Edible flowers on a dill salad, finishing creamy like Belgian milk chocolate.

Rating:

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