The Winchester Extra Smooth Bourbon

50 ml at least they put it out as a mini

Tasting notes:
What do we have here on the nose?  Corn, I’d wager, and lots of it.  There’s also Kentucky bluegrass clippings souring in a leaf bag.  Darryl walked off the job preparing the 12th green for last month’s Pro-Am, but not before heaving the leaf bag into some azalea bushes where it will remain unnoticed until winter.  More nosing gives support to the hypothesis that there’s neutral grain spirit, too.  One thing I’m sure of is that there’s an Arby’s meat carrot garnished with propane-marinated green peppers.  Canned pineapple nectar reduced with Splenda packets gives us the high fruit note that hits like an all-glockenspiel marching band inside a greenhouse for the predawn blooming of a corpse flower.  

The mouth reminds of us the ideal reality TV show cast member: hot; initially intriguing, even mysterious; but ultimately a train wreck.  Despite swirling the glass around a few times to see if it will open up, we get the surface of a tennis ball from a grass court tournament.  This particular ball was a second-serve ace that struck right off the face of a guy who is now thinking better of his boast that he could win a point off of Serena Williams.  Perhaps there is the same bravado among the folks at Terressentia, that they might do the unreasonable by means of the outrageous in the vain hope of achieving the improbable.  

The finish is something between a gustatory fencing response and a death rattle.  I half expect the story of Winchester “Extra Smooth” bourbon to be that of a reluctant hardware store scion who decides to become a top fashion designer but has to fall back on making whiskey.  I am left with the sensation of licking a spinning lathe at Louisville slugger: more spice, heat, and numbness.    

   

Rating:
On the scale of the soft bigotry of low expectations–

The Winchester Extra Smooth Bourbon not the worst thing I’ve tried.  But it’s close. 

   

   

                                                   —John

   

     
 

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