Az-Granata 5 Year Old Azerbaijani Whisky

250 ml Stockholm Syndrome in a bottle

Tasting notes:
The Az-Granata 5 Year Old comes from the produce aisle of Dr. Moreau’s Hobby Shop. There’s burning diesel (naturally), cinnamon red hots, and the ashes of an oil refinery fire.

The nose turns out to be relatively benign; the mouth is a stage five malignant cancer.

[John: Bill! Cancer only has four stages!]

As I said, stage five cancer. We also found Vienna sausages…brined in machine oil. They were offset by moldy dried apricots that underwent no redemptive fermentation.

The finish is merciful, in the sense that the end comes quickly. We found it to be, by turns, antiseptic, analgesic, and appalling. Tastebuds were held for ransom, but they committed suicide before succumbing to the Stockholm Syndrome.

On the scale of titles of Oscar-winning movies–
The Az-Granata 5 Year Old is Clint Eastwood’s Unforgiven–I repeat, the rating is on the scale of titles, and only titles. Titles, not content. Titles. Unforgiven.



–Our thanks to the Inimitable Ingrid for the sample!

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