The Tomatin 1997-2014 from Gordon & MacPhail’s “the wood makes the whisky” line unhasps an old tool box with oiled wood-handled tools with rusty steel heads. Down in the second level of the box, we found an old wooden hockey trophy, well varnished, and latterly rubbed with caramel, beeswax, attar of roses, and attar of thorns. Also: a lemon rind still desiccated after a failed—yet heroic—attempt at resuscitation by a wandering linen-clad EMT.
The EMT has a tart mouth and cloying sense of humor, cloaked in punchy phrases, and simply dripping with sour cherries in butternut-and-honey ice cream. She’s assertive—the EMT—and has been known to curdle sour cream with a knitted-brow defcon 2 glare. An open lady-hand slap for an impertinent sloppy drunk with a boozy vulgar tongue.
Sobered up, as it were, the wax returns in full force, like a paraffin-coated Vincent van Gogh rising up from a sepulchre of milkweed and titanium rasps in a B-horror movie. [Stephen: Bill! That’s Vincent Price!] The wood of the cask is announced as if by the slightly disapproving, stern, yet refined tones of Downton Abbey’s Mr. Carson, circa Season One. There’s fire, perhaps in the attic, maybe restricted to a bedroom fireplace: It’s simply not clear, and time passes like the Laffer Curve; fast, then slow, then fastly slow and finally slowly fast. Yes, supply-side economics is confusing, isn’t it?
—Our thanks to Gordon & MacPhail for the sample!