[Alas, this one was sold out before we could get this review published. But let this be a warning to you: these kinds of things (Burns Malts) are good values that you should not wait around for tardy bloggers to review before you purchase.]
Nose this dram and you’ll know what it’s like to visit a cactus museum. No, not the Ethel M. Chocolate Factory and Botanical Gardens, but still a nice one. Nose it some more and you’ll know what a vegan Beef Stroganoff smells like. Nose it a little less and you’ll know what it’s like to throw pearl onions before swine. There’s a musty, fudge-like density to the nose. Imagine fudge made from a great Burgundy wine. Now imagine a great Burgundy wine made from the Cat in the Hat’s tub ring. OK, that makes it sound worse than it is. Then again, most of what I’ve written here makes it sound worse than it is, because it’s pretty damn solid.
The mouth is oddly simultaneously a little watery and freakishly strong. It’s like a uranium air hockey puck in medio ludum. It’s also crazy drying; it’s a Sherry daisy cutter.
Add a little water, and the dram adds some jam and fruit to the nose: a Jamberry compote that brings a new level of must–as in, I must try another sip of this. It’s not entirely balanced, but then again we’re not, either, so who’s complaining. Finally, there’s a resinous quality that stays with you for quite a while once you drink it, not unlike tree sap used as bathtub grout then scraped out and smoked in a corn cob pipe. Damn, that’s some good ol’ fashioned tub funk.
The Aultmore 25 Year 1990 Burns Malt from The Whisky Barrel is, you guessed it, Tub Funk–Never heard of them before I looked them up just now (though I have heard of and even tried a couple of Aultmores before), and they seem a bit inaccessible and mysterious, but they can flat remix some techno, yo.
–Our thanks to The Whisky Barrel for the sample–and our apologies for the tardiness of this review!