The Bain’s Cape Mountain Whisky is a 100% corn whisky produced in the Republic of South Africa by a master distiller who apprenticed on Islay under Jim McEwan. If this be the music of the invisible hand of global capitalism, then I say play on!
The Bain’s Cape Mountain Whisky opens on the nose with corn…there’s a bright golden haze on the vell—eldt; there’s a bright golden haze on the veldt…the corn is as high as an (African) elephant’s eye, and the aroma is climbin’ clear up to the sky…Oh, what a first-fill bourbon cask mornin’, oh what a marshmallow fluff day! I’ve got a wonderful banana cream pie nosing, and band-aids on a defenestrated doll lyin’ on hay…
The mouth is high and light, long and creamy, oily and absolutely unconcerned about exceeding it’s Keatsian negative capabilities. Compulsively drinkable—I ask Stephen and John to restrain from glorping a signifcant quantity of the bottle like a dehydrated rhinoceros finding a new watering hole. There’s spice on the back palate; kind of like a good dill of a Masai-man curry sprinkled on cedar-smoked plantains by a sage chef.
The finish is a large waterwheel festooned with ostrich feathers, thrumming and whirling in a mill race, a gumboot dancing whisky, the larruping percussive thumping powering a kitchen grinder pulverizing dried bananas to be used in a new flavor of Tang. It still makes me feel like I need to play a round of macro-glorping chug-a-lug with the bottle. (Still restrained.)
On the scale of global investment firms–
The Bain’s Cape Mountain Whisky is (duh) Bain Capital–Did Mitt Romney drink Bain’s Cape Mountain Whisky? He should have. Did Romney ever use the slogan, “No Bain, No Gain”? He should have. Cheers! (In Afrikaans, “cheers” is……..cheers!)