National Arbor Day is April 24th, 2015. It’s a day that all too often we fail to observe, given that it’s the last Friday of April and there’s not a big feast associated with it. But it’s an important day, because where we would be without trees? (thinking) On a tundra? The Siberian Steppes? The Saharan desert? The ocean! The moon! I guess there are a lot of places we could be without trees.
More to the point, then: Where would the whisk(e)y industry be without trees? That one’s easier to answer. We’d all be swilling “premium” vodka distilled from potatoes that spent a day or so in an aseptic steel tank. So let us worship the dryads the nymphs of oak trees, for without them, our whisk(e)y would be not even white dog. It’d be moonshine or invisible dog.
Given that Arbor Day is almost 9 months away, what led us to conceive of this post? Easy enough to answer again! Angel’s Envy is teaming up with the Arbor Day Foundation to “Toast the Trees” (BTW, nice pun, Angel’s Envy) this month, which also happens to be National Bourbon Heritage Month. Throughout September, for every Angel’s Envy drink you order or make up for yourself at home—neat, on-the-rocks, or cocktail—Angel’s Envy would like you to take a picture of it. Post it to Facebook, Instagram or Twitter with the hashtag #AE4THETREES and they’ll plant a white oak tree for every hashtag (up to $10,000 worth of trees–or until the squirrels cry “Uncle!”). It’s a chance to be responsible for the growth of nymphs you can call your own, and while they’re beautiful, almost unattainably so, remember that Greek myths are full of tales of foolish mortals who get involved with nymphs. If that doesn’t put you off on the, shall we say, “R-rated angle” of the acorns, maybe you should watch Lars von Trier’s Nymphomaniac, vols. I and II. [Stephen: Dear God, don’t do that!]
So get your mobile devices ready, order or make yourself a drink and post it to social media with the hashtag #AE4THETREES so that some day your great grandchildren will have plenty of oak on which to use their froes, drawknives, jointers, sideaxes, and adzes to carve, then toast all the barrels they can figure out how to use. (Aren’t you proud of your hypothetical great grandchildren and their DIY moxie? I sure am!)
And keep an eye out for our first Instagram pic ever, coming out soon on social media with the hashtag #AE4THETREES. You should do the same. Multiple times, if necessary. We’re looking to spend all of AE’s budget on this. [John: IT’S FOR THE TREES! DO IT FOR THE TREES!]
Well done, Angel’s Envy: there still is plenty of time to plant the acorns of change in time to have a sapling for Arbor Day. Just add water and toast responsibly.