Cinnabon® grease from Terminal A, treacle stains during the landing, and satin pillow cases in the hotel bedroom where I fall instantly to sleep. In the morning I awaken to find bars of soap cut into seals. Or otters. I can’t tell. They were set in tableau on the other bed, all facing the television. I turn it on and there’s a commercial for a fruit candy in a language I don’t understand and featuring bright-colored cartoon fruits that I didn’t know were fruits. It is only now that I start to feel unsettled because I see the soap shavings on the floor between the beds. It’s clear that the scrimshaw sculptor spent part of the evening facing me as he carved. Now that I’m alerted I sense his aftershave still hanging in the air, as well as the capicola sandwich he ate using pages of a phone book to wrap the drippy mess. I’m on my feet heading to the bathroom when I see my travel shaving gel on the mirror. It takes only a moment to see that it was used to depict the unmentionable abuse of a bison at the hands (and I do mean hands) of a farmer. So my nighttime visitor can work in multiple media, I think to myself. The shower cap has been unwrapped and sits in the overflowing sink like a jellyfish. There are red and green grapes in its belly—or whatever you’d call that part of the jellyfish—and I sense that its sting would last a long, long time. I reach into the sink anyway to pull the plug when I feel my arm drawn into sink and at that very moment I awaken in my hotel room bed at dawn, a heavy pour of Springbank 14 in the glass next to the bed.
The Springbank Burns Malt 14 TWB Exclusive is “Macklemore’s Thrift Shop“–Pushing back against the materialist excess of hip hop, Macklemore celebrates the joys of bargain hunting and rocking your grandparents’ clothes. And as he says about thrift stores, so I say about the Springbank 14: “This is f***ing awesome!”
Our thanks to Alastair and the good people at The Whisky Barrel for the sample!
*–The Whisky Barrel (Springbank Burns Malt 14 Year Old TheWhiskyBarrel.com Exclusive)
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