Here at Malt Impostor Central, it’s often the case that our reviews riff on the name of the expression under consideration. But “Smooth Gentleman” is almost like waving a bright orange mantilla at a bored nanny goat. Or firing crossbow bolts at paramecia on laboratory slides. Fortunately, as a guest taster, we imbibed with Joshua Hatton, who is the Founder, President for Life, and Grand Poobah of the Jewish Single Malt Whisky Society. He’s a Society Guy, we’re Impostors, and we average out to being within one standard deviation from the mythical John Doe/Joe Sixpack/Eòsaph An t-Americanach mean.
The nose evokes nothing so much as drunken merry men reveling in a damp wood, broiling butter-slathered venison slabs using twig-shaped bacon for kindling. Moustache wax, vintage spats stored in a cedar hope chest (along with a mothballed beaver tophat and a walrus-tusk-ivory-handled ebony swagger stick), Aveda Men Pure-formance Pomade™, and a tinge of talc round it out.
A much-used Iron Chef bamboo ginger rasp works its “magic” on the tongue. Fortunately, the Wemyss thoughtfully also coats the tongue in Saran Wrap™, muffling the Kansas City Burnt Ends Wonderbread™ sandwich. The finish features nag champa cones and a clove cigarette rerolled in a reproduction of the Magna Carta. If the Smooth Gentleman’s dram was a 2-vector, it’s natural home would be the Complex Plane.
The Wemyss Smooth Gentleman is…the Gentleman–Whither Beau Brummel? Fred Astaire? Hell, where have you gone, Joe Dimaggio? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you, and to Dwight D. Eisenhower and John F. Kennedy. Jeepers H. Christmas, there’s even a Wikihow on the lost art of being a gentleman! “Don’t tell a girl how hot you find other girls.” Great advice, Wikihow. Stay classy.
*Our thanks to Susan Colville, Cameron and Wilma for sharing the love with us! Slàinte!