Okay, okay–so John and Stephen may have fooled me with the Glenellen, coming so close after the Glenlivet and the Glenfiddich 18, but what do they think I am? A moron? I *know* the difference between a gazelle and a glass of scotch, thank you very much. Oh—what? Oops…
The Springbank 15 (50 ml airline bottle*)
It’s like apricots and Macoun apples, dried and pressed firmly into a bright white cup–say, a Glencairn dentist spit cup. A nose like a leprosy infection on a body you’d die for: okay, maybe just suggestive of a powerful cure for gingivitis. Floral, sweet, iodine: an orchid preserved in a polyurethane bowling ball custom made for the Kingpin.
Anise and eucalyptus, evoking a party of koalas roused from their normal cranky torpor into lapping barrels outfitted with alternating oak and elm staves. It’s the world’s best cough syrup, soothing the throat of the high school delinquent, who wasn’t really sick, but successfully managed to fool his mom. Powerful enough that you’d volunteer at a child care facility and never feel the need to wash your hands, even during flu season.
The finish? Merely a stroll past an apiarist’s yard to the house that burned down a week ago, all the remaining durable valuables looted, but a pervasive, refined smell of toasted, expensive objets d’art mingles with the warmed royal jelly. Maybe a flower made from pixie sticks? No, the finest maple syrup served on pancakes at Zeus’ banquet on Mount Olympus.
The Springbank 15 is the Inverted Jenny stamp–Super rare, essentially priceless, and the pilot never fell out. ‘Cuz it’s just a picture, okay?
*–thanks to our good friends at Loch Fyne Whiskies